


To Make A Difference

by Prinscar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, Getting her hands dirty, Lily a more loyal friend, Lily being a stronger woman, Snape's Worst Memory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25337512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prinscar/pseuds/Prinscar
Summary: Lily Evans sees her friend Severus Snape hung upside down by the Lake. She comes and the Marauders taunt her... But what if she snaps? What if, for once, Lily got her hands dirty in the name of friendship and -- is this it? -- fraternity?A Gift Fic for mikeellee, the author who created the story mine is heavily inspired by. This is mostly a little fic to satisfy an unsatisfied thirst for a Lily who takes no shit from violent recidivist bullies.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 9
Kudos: 85





	To Make A Difference

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mikeellee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeellee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [If Lily was a better friend AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25315708) by [mikeellee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeellee/pseuds/mikeellee). 



The blowing weather is causing my fiery hair to get a bit frizzy. My fingers are intertwined in a nice messy lock. I frown as I notice the effects of the hair potion weakening.

"I´ll have to make another potion," I mutter hotly under my breath.

My girl companions are giggling at me. Everybody knows that Lily Evans hates it when her hair gets frizzy. A few minutes of attempting – and failing – to disentangle my copper curls later, I stop and peek at my reflection on the Lake – and then I see something that makes my blood run cold.

I jump to my feet – I run, dash towards the willow tree, towards the circle of onlookers, the scrawny figure of my friend: Severus Snape. I should have searched for him sooner, instead of following my other friends... And there he is: defenseless, attacked again, upside-down and bare to everybody. I recognize his own spell.

I dash faster at his rescue.

The next thing I know is that my wand is aimed at the two boys orchestrating the horrible show. One of them, this toerag – he stops haranguing people to laugh and he calls me: "Hey Evans!"

I know all the words I can use to greet them back but I'm afraid they're too muggle for them to understand... I also know my friend is in distress, that he needs urgent help. A swift movement of my wand as I cast the countercurse he's shared with me: "Liberacorpus!" and he's freed. In the heat of the moment, I forget that I should have used Mobilicorpus first. I wince when he hits the ground painfully. "Sev!" Around us all is renewed laughter.

Except from Black.

Potter, him, has a white willow wand thrust between the eyes.

"Careful Evans –"

"Careful Potter, you might not like what happens next."

The words are spoken with all the might I can muster, and yet, the boy dares to smile at me. Apparently, when Lily draws her wand, it's amusing. I loathe his smile. I loathe how it reminds me of that man who came to my home for business, as my mother requested a promotion, a job of higher responsibility. "A pretty woman like you?" he'd answered with a disgusting stroke of flirt. "That job is too much. Let us do it." Potter ruffles his hair with an arrogance only the privileged can possess. I would rather tear my nails on a blackboard than be subjected to that. However I'm not alone. Their target – my own best friend! – is right next to me. A feeling of protectiveness blooms in my solar plexus, brilliant and bewitching. I can't help it: my body shifts and suddenly I'm shielding Severus.

"You're beautiful Evans, when you're angry. Did you know that?"

The tone is deeper, more mature, it's obvious he finds this situation the best to flirt with me. I would have wanted to puke right in his face hadn't I realized it gave me a good opportunity to get their attention off of Sev... so he can get his wand back.

"Leave him alone!"

Potter rubs his chin playfully, looking up, as though he was thinking very hard. "Eeerr" he blurts, tapping his lip with a finger, "I'm not sure. Let's say we have a deal." He looks back and addresses his usual smirk. "Go out with me. Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on Snivelly again."

Black whistles, and my eyelid twitches. It's not the first time he's asked me like that. Once I had considered doing this for Sev, until we left school or found help – but I am no Slytherin, and Severus needs my help too much. He's already too worried about our friendship... he wouldn't bear the thought of me going right in Potter's arms... and certainly not for his own protection.

"You should have realized it is the other way around."

"I insist."

"I'd rather date the Giant Squid, Potter!"

"Bad luck Prongs," Black taunts behind his friend. "OY!"

Severus has Accio'ed his wand, and he slashes in Potter's direction. A tiny gash appears on his cheek, he recoils – I cannot be any more proud. But obviously it's not enough, as after slowly turning his head back to Sev, he raises his wand.

Too late – my fist meets his cheekbone hard. Potter's glasses explode in a million shards, he falls on his arse with a yelp. I am fuming, shaking with adrenaline.

"This is how you do it Sev."

With a shining smile, I glance up at him – my eyes widen. He has just the time to cast a Protego before a curse leaves a nasty crack upon impacting the magical shield. I whirl around: Black is starting a fight with Severus. I raise my wand at him.

"WAIT! STOP IT!"

Black freezes. I look back at Potter, yet he is still pressing a hand to what would surely become one severe case of a black eye. I follow his gaze, and my eyes lay on Lupin.

"Everybody calm down. There's no need to fight. Lily, you shouldn't have punched –"

"You should have intervened sooner you coward. You let them manhandle my friend – do not blame me for doing what I can when an incompetent hypocrite like you doesn't stand up to bullies he calls his friends."

"But you shouldn't –"

"There are things we shouldn't do Lupin," adds Severus, "but if we are pushed to do them, you can only blame yourself."

The Prefect looks at him with horror in his eyes, although he tries to hide it with a pleasant smile.

"What are you talking about?"

The situation is getting out of hand. If Peter comes as well, the show could start again. I let Sev handle Lupin for a bit – even though I know how awkward he is with words, how he cannot fight three people expert in sass – Mary is looking at me, and I jerk my head to the castle. When she hesitates, I frown, giving her a mad look. She runs to get help. Laughter runs in waves among the crowd. Sev has been ridiculed again. I have the idea to send Expelliarmus Lupin's way, but he is a Prefect, one who doesn't hold a wand. I could get in unnecessary trouble for that. Instead I cast it at Black without really looking at him. Taken by surprise, his wand performs an arc before falling right into my palm.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

"Give it back to him Lily," Lupin says as well as he presents his hand.

"Tell people to get away first. I'll give it back only when I'm sure that they won't attack me and Severus again."

"I assure you they won't."

"That's what you've always told me. Obviously it was a lie."

"But –"

"You told me again and again that they would change, that they realized they did wrong, but it keeps happening – why is it? How is it Lupin, that this keeps happening? Tell me!"

Lupin cannot give a coherent answer.

"I can't leave you four for a second before you start hexing people all around. Had I been in your place I would have quit being a Prefect."

"Evans, come on!" Potter replies. "It was just a joke. Right Peter? It's for fun!"

Far away, we hear Peter laugh. It sounds forced. It lacks spirit entirely. The plump blond boy looks like a lost puppy evermore.

I raise an eyebrow. "Alright – next time my foot meets your face I'll call it a joke."

Black starts to move but Severus thrusts his wand right between the eyes, like he's taught me so well. Potter gives me a dangerous look.

"Don't make me hex you Evans."

I have the urge to hex him first, just so I would make a point. He doesn't get to threaten me; I am the one who can hurt him rightfully. However if I do that... I am already near the limits. Not that I fear the Marauders... but I do not want to risk my friend to pay for the consequences. I mustn't act hysterically. I shall give the proper example.

Or better – take the right decisions.

And I don't care if people will taunt me later for acting like an animal. I get to be savage when those I love need my help.

"What? It would be fun, and you would do me a great service. Merlin knows you need a good correction."

"Alright that's enough –"

"Incarcerous!"

Magical ropes burst out of my wand. Potter can try anything, it's useless to struggle against the Full-Body Bind.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Evans, for gratuitous hexing of a student."

My laugh is genuine. There can't be anything more ridiculous that this. It is a festival of bullshit.

Potter's ego is obviously hurt. He's frustrated, I see it in his cold calculating look. Moving so slowly he looks like a predator hiding his inner violence before striking, he's planning revenge already. The neutral face lets place, after a beat, to a an apologetic sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry if I angered you. I won't do it again, I swear it. It's just – I don't know what goes in my head, so sometimes – you know, you can't help it."

"You make me sick."

"You can't understand things like this,' Potter adds. "But you don't need to worry! I'll never hex you. I didn't mean it. Forgive me Evans."

"You hex everyone around here Potter. Why should I be any different?"

He's undeterred by the question.

"Oh you know why. You're special to me –"

"But I told you I don't want to go out with you and you insist. If I refuse will you go and rape me?"

People gasp at the taboo word.

"Ah, you're accusing the wrong one Evans." Potter declares, jerking his head at Sev. "He's the Death Eater here. He will hurt you one day."

Sev recoils as if he's just been slapped. I see red.

"Why are you like this?"

"Me? Why are you asking me – ask him what he's planning to do with you!"

"Why are you doing this?"

Potter perks up, radiant.

"It's because he exists... if you know what I mean," he finishes with a wink.

You might have thought I would let myself be overcome with horror, anger and disgust. However, we had breached those levels long ago. Now it is not a question of making him stop, let along making him change. It is about using his own weapons against him, just like he'd done to Sev.

I am no saint. I do not claim to be one. I am not perfect, and I am often in the wrong. But I am clever and fierce when I want.

So when Potter says this abominable sentence – telling Sev the problem is that he exists... All I can feel is the glee of knowing how to attack. What I think right now? Got him.

"He's a half-blood. You're a pureblood – do you hate the filth in his blood, is that it? Does he derange you because he's a half-blood and you despise them all?"

Sev tenses next to me. His blood status is something he's not at ease to speak of out loud. Of course, everyone knows that 'Snape' doesn't belong in any name register of the Pureblood families. Everybody knows, the boys and girls of his House have spread the info since long. But Severus has to make a choice... between hiding his true origins and getting attacked, or putting his ego aside for a bit and letting me defend him.

"That has nothing to do with –"

"Oh that's it! So I'm a Muggle-Born and you can try to force my hand – he's a Half-Blood and you want to kill him!"

"Look, I'm friends with Remus and Peter, and they're Half-Bloods – I want to date you and you're Muggle-Born –"

"Sev is friend with me but you dare call him a Death Eater?!"

Yes, the reality is more complicated than that. But it doesn't matter. My goal is to call Potter and Black out in the most shameful and aggressive way possible, until a professor comes at our rescue.

"He's a Slyther –"

"Is that what Lupin and Pettigrew are to you, Potter?! Tools to make it seem like you're not like a Death Eater? Am I a tool as well, something to show off like a Snitch?! I don't care about what you say – you're just a bully who attacks my own Half-Blood friend AND you dare threatening to hex me. You've done more than any Slytherin has ever done these last years. For me, you're just as bad as them."

"I –"

"YOU CURSE HALF-BLOODS AND MUGGLE-BORNS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU'RE HIGHER THAN THEM – YOU'RE JUST LIKE A DEATH EATER! ADMIT IT!"

"NO I WON'T –"

"ADMIT IT!!!" I shout on top of my lungs.

The crowd is silent. To call somebody a Death Eater isn't nothing – to call pureblood James Potter this way would create nasty rumors. Either against me, or against him and his friend Black.

Potter cannot think of anything to reply. So when he looks aside, he opts for another tactic.

"I didn't know you needed a girl to defend you, Snivel –"

But his words fall on deaf ears. Or rather, they don't ever get past his lips. In fact, he has no lips anymore. They are sewed together, leaving a smooth expanse of skin where they had been. The hex is easy to cast and effective. I always had a quirk for the non-verbals.

Sev shifts angrily on his feet, he tightens his fists.

"But who are you to talk, Potter? You always get on Severus four-on-one, what would you call that, I wonder?"

My voice shakes with trepidation. Black begins to growl like an enraged animal. Sev however, doesn't falter and he keeps his guard.

And then I hear the salvaging voice of my Professor Minerva McGonagall.

"What is the meaning of this?! Lower your wands at once!"

I do as I am told. I have to lay my hand on Sev's arm to make him follow, although with hesitancy. McGonagall casts off our hexes. I glare at Mary again – she complies.

"Madam, Lily was only defending herself. And – and Snape."

The Marauders start to talk over each other, and I fear what the Prefect would be allowed to say. Apparently though, things are in my favor. When the young professor asks me for an explanation, I tear up. I am in what they call – shock. It's the first time I have physically attacked someone, Muggle-style. I knew it ought to be done. I knew he deserved it, I knew it was better than to let him have his way with Sev and me. Yet I can barely control the wave in my voice, my rapid breathing, my shame at crying, me who wanted to be a strong and proud loyal girl. I hate the way my face scrunches, how my lips tremble. I gulp and fight the sobs.

I explain everything.

It gets hard when I accuse Potter and Black, as them along with Lupin try to interrupt me with excuses and further lies. It gets harder when I admit my active retaliation. I know that what I did was bad. Maybe it was a bad example... On the other hand, I couldn't let Potter continue anymore. He'd asked for it. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am done with him. I know that my parents would be proud... I have little to loose, so it is to be said.

My tale reaches the end. It is frustrating how I can't stop hiccuping. Fortunately my Head of house seems to take the situation more seriously... Before, she would always believe the Marauders to be mild and, if she did give them detention, she would always bear a look of endearment. But this time it's different.

This time, they've made Gryffindor, Muggle-Born, popular and beautiful Lily Evans cry.

"Lily..." whispers Sev softly.

McGonagall gives me a sympathetic look. However, fury is quickly etched on her features.

"You two – Black and Potter – you loose 50 points each."

"WHAT!"

The crowd gasps as well. I throw a glance at Sev – his smile is smug.

"And – I cannot do otherwise... It really has to stop. I regret what I must do, but it must be done. You two – will be expelled from Quidditch season for the remaining of this year."

"You're fucking kidding m–"

He regrets the foul word quickly. It adds one more week of detention over the month already scheduled.

"As of you Mr. Lupin, I must express my extreme disappointment. What Ms. Evans said is clear – you let your friends aggress a student without any attempt to get them back to order. This can only mean you approve of this, and as a Prefect, the fault is all the more serious. That will be 50 points from you as well. Hopefully you will take your position with more impartiality and more responsibility for the future. Do be grateful you don't get detention for your unacceptable attitude."

Punishing them so much in Sev's favor is a miracle. I know it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been there.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Scatter around! Go! Or do you wish more detentions?"

The last glares are shared, leaving the grounds showered by the sun. It is just Sev, McGonagall and me anymore. She turns at me at once.

"Ms Evans... As much as I know you must have been upset to see your friend attacked by Mr. Potter and Black, you should know that your behavior is not to be repeated. We do not resolve a conflict with violence – let alone a punch. Do you understand?"

"Professor, Potter and Black wouldn't stop," Sev intervenes. "She's already tried to convince them to stop before, but they don't ever listen... It's not her fault. If she hadn't been there..."

McGonagall shoots a severe glare at the Slytherin, which is soon replaced by weariness. She sighs deeply.

"I realized as much. But it is my duty as a Professor of Hogwarts. If I punish Potter, Black and Lupin for bullying, then I have to punish you for your inappropriate handling of this situation. Violence is not the solution... well, most of the time." She glances back at me. "5 points will be taken from Gryffindor."

The shaking of my body is at its strongest. I feel so cold and disorientated. And yet... I cannot help but take Sev by the hand. I squeeze it tightly. It is as much a comfort to me as it is meant to be for him. It is our solidarity – it is the strength of our friendship.

How could I have ever let them attack Sev without putting a fight by myself? Two-on-one, then three of the Marauders laying their wands at him. It was not a fair match. My mother has always reassured me though – sometimes it is better to get our hands dirty... not matter if we get punished later.

"And I give you 10 points for you brave intervention as well. Good job, Ms Evans. Though make sure to warn a teacher sooner and keep the fight at the minimum."

Sev squeezes my hand back.

"Mary McDonnald – I give 10 points to Gryffindor for seeking the help of an adult. Ms Evans and Mr Snape, I advise you to go see Madam Pomfrey... You are in a bad shape."

And then she leaves.

The grounds are too wide and vast and clear, I feel unprotected. It is still dangerous – the Marauders might have hidden only to fall on our backs. We need a safer place. I tug at Sev's arm, pulling him as I follow McGonagall closely, hot on her heels. Sev is too silent. Staring blankly at his feet, shaken, he refuses to look at me. I am not happy about this – to be honest, I am worried. McGonagall is tactful and kind enough to lead us to the Infirmary, where Pomfrey gives us both a Calming Draught. My friend doesn't like going there much, but I suspect he doesn't protest, since he wants to help me as well. He doesn't like it when I'm upset. Naturally it goes the other way too. Soon enough we are left alone, ordered to rest. The practical part of the OWLs of Defense don't start until 5 pm, and there are still 40 minutes before it starts. I shift on the white blankets, calling my friend. His expression is eaten by shame and fear.

"You saved me."

As usual, there is a stroke of anger, making it sound as if it was a reproach. I'd bet though that the reproach is more likely directed against himself for having been too weak to defend against such pathetic bullies.

"And I always will." I also apologize for letting him behind. He shakes his head, but I insist.

"What if they come after you?!"

"I'll fight them. We'll fight them off Sev. We won't let them do as they please."

Sev snorts – clearly he thinks I'm delusional.

"Besides, they can't attack me as freely as you. They know this would get the teachers angrier that if it concerned you only. They know that they'd be attacking a Muggle-Born, who has already called them out... It'll stink. I am too popular for them... And unless Potter really doesn't mind hexing me, then the only person I can truly fear is Black, because he is more violent. But – honestly Sev – if you are able to endure all of this because they don't like how I'm your friend then –" I take a deep breath, "then there's no reason I can't go through this with you. Or else I wouldn't be worthy of a Gryffindor."

He gives me a look which conveys all of his desperate admiration.

"I am lucky to have a friend like you," he murmurs. "You shouldn't do that for me – I don't deserve this –"

"Do not tell me what I should or shouldn't do," I reply fiercely. He ducks his head, flustered. My tone is softer but he needs to understand.

He needs to trust me.

"If you are in trouble, I'll go with you. I'll be here. I can't help it. This is just who I am. McGonagall says I should be proud of it. Aren't you?"

He chokes something between a sob and a laugh. "Of course. I'm grateful."

There is a moment of silence where Severus' lips tremble and his face is shutting down. And then, as though he has lost an inner fight, his long raven hair swings over his shoulder, a wall as much as a shield to prying eyes.

He is crying. If it's become a rarity to see a smile coming from him over the last hellish years, it is an exception for the Slytherin to display such shameful emotions. Fortunately I know that I am one of the rare people – maybe the only one – who can bypass his shell of privacy. One second I am at a loss on what to do. The next, I figure that all what is needed here – is merely what a friend would do. I sit next to him, secure one of my arm around his back, cradles his head against my chest and strokes his albeit greasy hair.

His sobs may be silent, they are violent, and there's nothing else I can do but tear up as well.

This is so unfair.

Severus – a pariah in his own House, a scapegoat for the Light Side – and I have enough of feeling so helpless. I wish Potter would listen to me – but he never will. I wish Sev and me had had a normal life in Hogwarts.

Who would have guessed we would already be in war?

I am determined, I am undeterred – as long as Sev needs me, I will be there.

I am popular and loved, I am more protected than him, and I wish to be a true Gryffindor. I know I can do this. No matter if my friends harass me to abandon Sev – no matter if I don't agree with everything he does and says – I already think of a plan to use my little privilege. I already imagine myself sneaking into the boys' dormitories and steal – hide or destroy – the suspicious objects I have spotted in their hands, such as a certain silvery cape or a sizable map that appears to give them a lot of fun.

I don't care if it's not right – the Marauders shouldn't have done this in the first place. And Hogwarts shouldn't have given me the opportunity to – maybe – prevent further attacks.

To do the right thing, sometimes you have to get your hands dirty. Or would you be too much of a precious coward to do that?

We mustn't abandon the fight. We won't ever loose. The boy I'm hugging tightly may not think as such – Maybe it'll change? We can only hope things will get better. But...

But for now, it is okay to cry... and I tell him as such.


End file.
